Caving in

I feel as if the world is caving in
I have a smile on my face all day
Laughing when it is the right time to laugh
Smiling when people are around
But then I get home and go to bed and
Every night I cry myself to sleep
People think that I have it all together that my life is perfect
Well it’s not
I’m tormented by my own demons every single day
I feel numb when I’m around people
No one makes me feel happy anymore
I want to be that kid that always had a smile on her face and her eyes light up
But I’m not anymore
I’m confused lonely and angry !!


I get judged because I’m not perfect
Because I’m not beautiful
Because I’m me
People look at me with disgust in their eyes
I feel like I can’t go out anywhere because I might run into someone i know
I have to look my best when I go out
Most of my friends all they do is hick something on and look like a freaking supermodel
So when you say that I Should believe on myself and have confidence you don’t know how it is to be me
You don’t have that sense of not belonging
So please stop judging people like me!


Iโ€™m sick of not existing to guys Just because there is prettier girls out there and just because she is better at stuff than me Just remember she uses u And I would never use u I look at u and my body aches my heart a sinks and itโ€™s just because u smile at me But u would always pick her before me Just remember Iโ€™m always here waiting for u please ur everything I need to save myself!